Miniscule County- Families of hummingbirds in the Birdtown area are faced with a problem. Due to the long drought and recent floods, many plants have been unable to produce their normal amounts of flowers, thus causing a severe nectar shortage throughout the county.
" This is bad enough," said Allistar Bluebird, county coordinator of food supply. " Hummingbirds have staked their claim to certain territories and will not share their nectar with any other hummingbirds. They've even stolen fom feeders."
Of course, it doesn't help anything that local woodpeckers have been plucking off the plastic flowers from the feeders and taking off with them. " This is a crime, and those who partook in it will be prosecuted. However, at this time, we have more severe things to think about," Allistar commented.
The nectar shortage has caused fights to break out. Injured hummingbirds have been coming in to local emergency rooms by the busload. aerial battles are inevitable wherever nectar can be found. " Whenever I an able to find flowers, or get to a feeder, I have to spend so much time looking out for divebombing hummers that I don't have the chance to eat very much before being shoved out of the way," said Mrs. Buzzworth. " It is appaling how many selfish hummingbirds there are out there, that won't hesitate to hurt another hummer just to get nectar. I always wait my turn. Why can't they?"
Three hummingbirds are faced with numerous charges of assult and nectar theft. Two of the accused hummers refused to testify, but the third, Horace I. Comefirst stated that he didn't have to share with anyone.
" I was here first," Comefirst said during his trial yesterday morning. " If the rest were so concerned over the nectar supply, they should have come earlier. First come, first served. That's what I always say."
Comefirst's comments were jeered at by local hummingbirds attending the trial. Local police had to block protesters from throwing rotten tomatoes at Comefirst as he was escorted out of the courthouse.
Miss Flutter Humming voiced her opinion. " We want to have food too. We can't just go out and find flowers 'cause there ain't any. Besides, Comefirst didn't always get to the flowers or feeder first. He divebombed some of those who were there, and scared the others away. I know because I was a victim. He's lying through his beak."
Birdtown Mayor Michael C. Yellowfeather calmed the crowd with a strategy for helping the starving hummingbirds. " Since there are numerous cases of bullies refusing to share their nectar, we will have to turn our backs on them."
He has planned to place public feeders throughout the area. Each one was equipped with survellance cameras and measuring lines that police could insure that each hummingbird got an equal amount. Any
hummingbird who took more than his share of nectar would be fined, and anyone who pushes or assults another over the nectar would be prosecuted.
Construction of the public feeders will begin immedietly, and will be finished by next month. In the meanwhile, nectar banks are open for any hummingbird who needs food. For more information, call the Birdtown City Hall at 555-7463.
