Sunset Gazette - May 2005

ANOAA EXTREME WEATHER ALERT

Heavy rains in Beaver County, causing a risk of flooding on fisherman's river. Flood watch for all of Beaver County along the river.

Flood watch for the Dragonlair valley just past the foothills of Dragonlair Mt.

Local Weather Report

Click on the name of the town to see its weather report for this week.

Weather report provided by the Animalia National Oceanic and Atmospheric Accosiation (ANOAA).

Dogtown - Local resident, Duke Grey, made a big mistake when he decided to pick on a snoozing porcupine, Saturday.

Prickly Porcupine fell asleep in front of Duke Grey's dog house earlier that morning, while Duke was away. When Duke returned, he found Prickles sleeping in front of his door. The angered canine attacked. Although upset by his inturrupted nap, Prickles Porcupine was uninjured in the dog encounter, because he rolled into a tight ball. Duke, however, was not so fortunate.

"I couldn't help it," said Prickles. "I was so tired I was ready

to collapse. He should have put up a fence, or a sign or something, and I would have stayed out. Besides, he could have just asked me to leave, and I would have. Attacking me wasn't necessary."

"I don't like anyone on my property, much less in front of my door, without my permission," said Duke. "If Prickles was so tired, why didn't he just go home or something? And why did he have to jab all those sharp quills into my mouth. He practically autographed my tongue."

Dr. Kevin T. Fitzgerald told reporter Michael Davis that he pulled an estimated 50 or 60 quills from the dog's nose, mouth, and tongue. Duke was put under anesthesia while the doctor used forceps to remove the quills.

"This was a tedious job", Fitzgerald explained. "To make sure you get the whole quill. If you leave part if the quill they get infected."

Duke is currently recovering from his untimely encounter.

Special thanks to the Alameda East Veternary Hospital click here for more information.

Reptile County- All across Animalia, priceless art is dissappearing from museum walls, with a cheap forgery in its place. The suspect: Marcus Serpentia.

"He's been suspected of art and antique theft for years," said the chief of the ABI Art and Antique Division. "However, we never have enough evidence to incrimiate him. If I didn't know better, I'd say this string of art thefts is the 'perfect crime'."

The fact that Marcus changes his identity and covers his tracks makes pinning these crimes on him even more difficult. No one besides his thief ever meets him, and no one knows his true identity. And to make things even harder, he wears a ski mask, sunglasses, and coat, so that he is unrecognizable. "The only thing I unique can remember about him is his voice," says Sully McVarnom, who was supposedly hired by Serpentia to steal the original painting

Yimoustonra by Moonlight by Radcliffe Flickeralia. "And even that is hard to recognize. A lot of snake voices sound similar, you know."

Serpentia's suspected mode of operation is this: under a fake identity, he will set up cell

phone account, which he will cancel after the crime. Then he will hire a private investigator to locate the piece he wants to steal, and to take a photo. He will hire a professional forger to make a nearly identical copy of the piece. After that, he will hire the thief to steal the piece, put the fake in its place, and deliver the goods to Serpentia. Then, after keeping the piece in an underground safe for a year or two, he will sell it on the black market, for more than it is worth.

If anyone has information on Serpentia, they are stongly advised to call 9-9-1 or 555-WANTED.