Writers Workshop: Show Vs. Tell

Writers Workshop: Show Vs. Tell

Dancing Word Writers Workshop

With Lynn Coleman

August 19, 2005

Hosted by: Anne McDonald

Dancing Word Publisher/Editor

*This chat has been edited for clarity

Anne McDonald: We'll open in prayer first, and then I'll go over protocol and introduce our special guest.

Lord, thank You so much for loving us, and for calling us to write. Be with everyone tonight, and minister to each of their needs. Be with Lynn tonight as she shares her wisdom with us and help us all become better writers for you. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Protocol reminder: Please type ? for questions ! for comments and ga when you are through. Wait to be called on in turn (that keeps us from stepping on each others' toes)

Tonight, I'm blessed to be able to introduce best selling author Lynn Coleman who will teach her "Show Vs. Tell" workshop. Lynn, welcome and thanks for coming.

* AZAnnie turns the floor over to Lynn and leads the applause

Lynn Coleman: Well do you want me to start with a little about myself

Anne McDonald: yes, please

Lynn Coleman: Well, I'm the author of 22 published titles. I sold my first novel in Oct. 1998. And I was involved with starting American Christian Fiction Writers. It actually stemmed out of my online workshops on iUniverse and AOL a few years ago.

I'm married to a great hubby and we have three kids and 8 grandchildren. My husband is the Sr. Pastor of our church and besides being a writer, pastor's wife and grandma I am developing a digital photography habit.

If we study the classics you'll find lots of telling but today's author doesn't have the luxury to give paragraphs and pages of description. Nor do we have the option to even tell the story. We are a television and visually media people, so it is extremely important for us to learn to show the story through our writing. I'd like to pass on some quotes that I think we be very helpful in helping you evaluate whether you are showing or telling.

Sol Stein in Stein on Writing says: "There are three areas in which the writer is particularly vulnerable to telling rather than showing: When he tells what happened before the story began; When he tells what a character looks like; And when he tells what a character senses, that is, what he sees, hears, smells, touches, and tastes.

Those are all places where the author's voice can intrude on the reader’s experience."

End of quote from Stein

In Self Editing for Fiction Writers by Browne & King says: "But telling your readers about your characters' emotions is not the best way to get your readers involved. Far better to show why your characters feel the way they do.”

It's easier to simply say, "Erma was depressed" than to come up with some original bit of action that shows she's depressed. But if you have her take one bite of her favorite cake and push the rest away (or have her polish off the whole cake), you will have given your readers a far better feel for her depression than you could by simply describing it.

It is nearly always best to RESIST the URGE to EXPLAIN (or, as we so often write it in manuscript margins R.U.E.)."

—caps mine in the three words—

End of quote from Browne & King

Next I'd like to give you some examples: At first I was going to write some of my own but Stein has a great one that I thought I’d pass on.

"He took a walk. Tells. He walked four blocks. Begins to show. He walked the four blocks slowly. Shows more clearly. He walked the four blocks as if it were the last mile.

Shows more by giving the reader a sense of the character’s feelings, which the previous version did not. He walked as if against an unseen wind, hoping someone would stop him. Shows most of all because it gives the reader a sense of what the character desperately wants."

—End of Example from Stein—

Learning to see when you’re telling versus showing is one of the hardest challenges that faces some writers. I know I still struggle with it. It is far easier for me to see it in other people’s writing than my own.

There are a few questions you can ask yourself to help you self-edit. Are you allowing the reader to see what's going on? Are you naming emotions? Are you telling through unnecessary conversation? Can you use an action instead of telling the emotion or senses of the character? For me, I don’t worry about telling when I’m writing the first draft of the story. Instead I concentrate on showing when I’m editing.

The above questions and being mindful of R.U.E. and help me to edit my telling to showing. However don't forget, there are times when we need to tell. It helps with the pace of the story but as often as possible show.

Anne McDonald: Lynn, I've seen a lot of different schools of thought regarding adverbs. What is your take?

Lynn Coleman: I've found sometimes they are just what are needed to help the sentence. To help picture the scene, but it is sometimes too easy to fall back on them as with anything, ask yourself is this the best way for the scene to progress, or is there a better way to write it, something that will put the reader into the action or feelings of the characters?

Anne McDonald: For me, an adverb is the signal that a better verb is needed.

Lynn Coleman: Most of the time, I believe that's true. Who here has been told they need to show not tell?

Rich Bullock: Me

Gina: raises hand

Lynn Coleman: add mine in there too

Heather: me

Ellie Schroder: my hand is also raised

Laura: me too

Lynn Coleman: In fact, just this week a crit came back pointing out I was telling <G> That's why I feel this is such a hard one. I think Stein's book handles it the best with actual examples

But Browne & Kings book is helpful to ask some of the questions you need to ask yourself for self-editing.

Did you catch the comment from Stein when he spoke of the five senses? We're told as writers to get into the POV of the character by using the five senses. The key in that is to not simply describe or tell what they are sensing. Does that make sense?

Embellished: Are you saying we shouldn't say... he tasted the ice cream... (not good use of the sense)... but something more like vanilla ice cream melted in his mouth... (I know poor writing, go with me)

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