The Write Perspective

What Planet Did You Say

You Were From?

by: Jason C. McDonald

Jason C. McDonald

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There are two kinds of people in the world: writers and non-writers. Though my Mom and I simply refer to non-writers as “normals”. Of course, this brings up the question: if they’re normal, what are we? Simple…we’re everything BUT.

Writers have many habits that come across as insane to most. We appear to talk to ourselves when we’re really talking to characters. We spend the lunch hour staging murder plots and getting ourselves arrested by a listening cop. And we have a sense of humor that usually warrants a visit to the funny farm.

Research to a “normal” usually involves libraries and Google. Occasionally, talking to a professional or someone that has lived through an event is required. Sure, research to a writer involves all those, but we like to kick it up a notch. While the everyday person is looking up the geography of Argentina, we’re looking up 37 ways to poison someone without getting caught.

Another thing that many writers do is we talk to our characters. Of course, to the everyday innocent bystander, we look like we escaped from the loony bin. And if we aren’t talking TO our characters, we’re talking about them.

One time, my Mom and I were discussing our characters. My Dad, who is most definitely a “normal”, chimed in. “You talk as if they’re real!”

My reply? “Hey, in their world, you’re fantasy.”

If you’ve ever been around a group of writers, you can probably attest to the fact that our humor is a little unusual, to say the least. The simplest, most innocent phrase can crack us up. Case in  point: my Mom and I are driving down the street and pass a sign for a pizza parlor. On the board, the establishment proudly displays their latest deal: “Large Hawaiian, $11.99, Small Cowboy $7.99”. To any “normal”, this would mean that you could get a large Hawaiian pizza for 12 bucks and a western-style pizza for about eight. To a writer, however, you can purchase a both a Samoan bodyguard and a miniature cowboy.

We writers do indeed have strange habits. Thank goodness our non-writer family members are so understanding of our chronic weirdness. But who can blame them when they ask the inevitable question: “What planet did you say you were from?” 

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